Being a wife and a mother of 6, has its ups and downs just like any family. Believe it or not my children argue but I think every family does now and again. With ages ranging from 8 to 4, the only thing that might be different from my family compared to a smaller one is that I get to wonder which ones are going to argue today. A small argument can easily get out of control. I have had to remind my older children that I am mom and I will handle the problems. I have had to learn and still work on reminding myself to stay calm. It makes a big difference in how the kids react. If I am not calm about things, I can’t expect them to be. By no means have I figured this out completely, I am sure by time they all are grown and moved out maybe I will. Other things that are challenges for us are going out finding things to do, or places to eat, which can always be so costly. We look around for opportunities to take the kids out like the library, the YMCA and restaurants that have a kid’s specific special. For example we have attended an activity night at the YMCA that only cost a dollar for our family. I now receive emails and newsletters from the YMCA and the library that keep me updated so I always know what other opportunities are available.
If I hear advice from someone with a problem I have I take it and try it. Something I have heard that has always stuck with me is, that the wife/mother is a thermostat or a thermometer, the choice is hers. The difference is a thermometer states the temperature (or the mood) and a thermostat actually controls it. I have put that to the test many times, it not only affects the children and my husband but anyone who comes in when it is that temp. I strive to remember that if I stay cool and relaxed then everyone else will be also and we all get along so much better when we are. I try not to sweat the small stuff if no one is hurt or nothing is badly damaged then it will be ok. I have actually used the phrase “Don’t cry over spilled milk,” in reference to spilled milk. I have been lucky to be a part of Head Start especially when I was a new parent and wasn’t sure how to encourage early learning. They still help me now when I have behavior problems or questions with my older ones. The teachers, family advocate, and staff have helped me through a lot. I also kept my eyes open to be able to find other families because you can learn a lot from others, what they been through and how they handle things. When my friend told me about Great Start Parent Coalition, I was more than eager to join. It has been a great opportunity to learn from others parents and have the children playing with other kids at the same time.
I have always wanted a big family; I love the idea of being so close. Now I don’t mean just in age, the older ones are always watching out for the younger ones. I enjoy watching them interact, playing, or just talking back and forth. They learn quickly from one another. There is a lot they do together from reading books to playing games, to running around outside. They have learned how to share and usually do it without being asked (although sometimes they still need to be reminded). There is never a dull moment at my house. I enjoy the excitement that comes with having 6 kids come home from school and all at the same time want to tell me what they did at school and show me all their papers. They are always proud of their accomplishments as well as their dad and I. Anyone who walks in my house can see all their papers and art work hanging on my walls. I love to be able to see how much they have grown both together and as individuals. I get asked a lot how do I do it, and I don’t always have an answer right off hand because we’ve added different parenting skills we have learned over time. So my thoughts to anyone would be not to expect changes to happen overnight. Just like when you are teaching your children to walk it takes time, love and a lot of patience.
